Thursday photo prompt: Clarity #writephoto

Hola fellow-bloggers…

Okay 2 things…

1. I don’t know why I start with Hola. I’m not Spanish and almost never use this greeting in person. Yet somehow I like the sound of it when writing ….
2. By calling you all fellow-bloggers, I am single-handedly both insulting the sincerity and consistency with which all of you blog as well as acting hypocritical by calling myself a blogger.

I was not very shocked to see that my last post was on September 28, 2018. But that is surely a huge gap even by my standards. While I have been reading some of the blogs during this time, I just somehow couldn’t get myself to write any. Yes I did promise myself of writing a post a week, but I don’t think I will ever live up to that standard. Simply because I can’t blog like it’s a task. I am yet to reach that level of effortless writing where I can simply open the page and start scribbling beautifully woven thoughts with perspective as well as humor. I need to really think my thoughts through before I actually hit the post button….

And just like always, Sue’s Thursday prompt came to my rescue yet again with a beautiful prompt that not only found me dazed on a lazy Sunday evening but also made me magically start rambling…

Well last one year or so has been one of making difficult choices and sticking to them… Those choices caught me unaware, unprepared and absolutely unclear about them…I got my braces on last year, managed to get myself my first ever fracture that refuses to heal even after six damn months, decided to cut out some toxic habits from my routine being a few of them…

However getting the braces on was by far one of the most impromptu things that I’ve done in my life. While some of you may not find it that big a deal, to me it clearly felt otherwise…After all, I’m a 27 year old working girl in the day and age of filters that can change your entire face, age you by 2 decades, drop your mental age by even more and all this in just a few clicks…I recently stumbled upon a girl who was trying to reduce the gap between her eyes by a filter???? Said they were too far apart…. Aaarghhhhh…Who in the world even thought of this in the first place….

So yeah sorry for digressing but I am fairly conscious of the fact that lately people are critically judged more for their physical appearances and less for the kind of lives they are leading (Or maybe even for the kind of books they are reading…guilty of that one). So when my extremely supportive husband finally managed to convince me after 3 long years that braces for me are a medical requirement (reaffirmed time and again by my dentist) rather than an aesthetic luxury, I gave in. Some people told me how stupid I was and that it’s too late for me to get them on. I didn’t know what I was signing up for other than the fact that I will be living with them for 12-14 months. Though I realized on Day 0 of getting them on that I have signed up for a lottttt more than just my time – endless days of pain, ulcers in the mouth, inability to chew comfortably and getting my tongue cut by a metal wire every time I subconsciously run it along my teeth. Despite all these physical agonies, what surprisingly hit me the most was my inability to accept myself in that not-so-beautiful-but-actually-hideous-looking state. I remember sitting in my car and howling like a baby the first day I got them on and I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life….

But after more than a year, while I’m clearly delusional about my teeth being the best set of pearly white teeth anyone can possibly have, I have also realized that something inside me has changed fundamentally.

I think braces taught me how to love myself unconditionally and unequivocally…To know that clarity of thought about one’s own being is a pre-requisite to lead a truly happy life and that I will forever have my back no matter the choices I make.

Love

On all those days…

“My daddy strongest!!!” Tagline of a cooking oil advertisement that used to be one of my favourite advertisements back in the 90’s… I would run from any corner of the house to the tv so as to not miss it… not to mention if papa happened to be around at that time too, he would get a very high decibel version of the tagline along with a few extra squeezes from me as a bonus…

Can’t believe a lifetime has gone by since I last yelled and shrieked that line… and if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt in all of my 27 years, it is to never trust anyone who says “I can’t live without you”… as figurative as it is, it still is a very strong commitment to make… losing papa has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me and not getting to talk to him the one last time, my biggest regret..

Who knew that the three women whose world revolved around him could actually live without him! But they sure did and how.. we may not say it everyday but…

On all those days when i didn’t think of u, I’ve missed you

On all those days when mom couldn’t sleep coz I came home late, I’ve missed you

On all those days when I watched mom fix the bulb and cook the meals, I’ve missed you

On all those days when Di feared leaving mom and me alone in the country, I’ve missed you

On all those days when I had to choose a career away from mom, I’ve missed you

On all those days when life happened, I’ve missed you

Love!

Thursday photo prompt: Beginnings #writephoto

Lying in her bed, listening through her sobbing breaths, she heard the birds chirp and her wind chime clink. “No, it can’t be yet another day” she thought to her anxious self.

New beginnings of any sort made her heart wary. Twitching in her bed, she tried to think of a reason to get up and get on with her day (or life maybe)! Somehow she couldn’t bring herself to a point where she can rise above the darkness and see the tinge of hues that life has sprinkled all around.

“Come on, you can do it” she pushed herself like a ninja and was out of the bed about to get started.

“Now that you’re done sulking and lazing, better get some work done as some of us have an actual life to live rather than hide under the blanket all day!!”, said her exhausted but unaware mother while running errands in the house.

The words as innocuous as they may sound, ran chills down her spine and sent her in a free fall of sorts.

“Back to square one”, she said and sank back in her bed.

In light of the recent suicide events that have been making the rounds (Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade), I thought we could all take a moment, look around and maybe soothe an aching soul… We come across so many people in our lives and unknowingly either mock at their plight or worse even – Ignore It. When people like Anthony and Kate and innumerable more decide to do what they did, it raises an alarm. A very loud alarm.

I have had a chance of watching a few episodes of Parts Unknown (Anthony) and what pure magic they were. Witnessing a man like him give up at an age when we thought he would’ve figured out how to live with his depression is more than just heart-breaking. Let there be no more lives that are lost because there is no hope. Let there be more beginnings to moments where end seems to be the only way out.

Thanks Sue for the inspiring photo prompt… helped me get out of my “writer’s block”!

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna matata… hakuna matata….!

So this is the song that I’ve been humming for the past few weeks now. Last year December, I went to South Africa for two weeks…. yassss… and there goes a bigggg tick on my bucket list… hence I am going to blabber in this post about SA.

Disclaimer: The opinions below are strictly personal, formed based on my experiences, observations and of course some eavesdropped conversations

To begin with, I wasn’t too convinced at first about visiting SA coz of a few preconceived notions:

1. I don’t want to get mugged and shot
2. I am a vegetarian and can’t go hungry for two weeks
3. There won’t be enough stuff to grab my attention for two weeks
4. It’ll be soooo hot

While the above list is not exhaustive, it still captures the gist of my aversions to visiting the place. I’m glad that I had so many presumptions about the place as that itself made my experience amazing because at almost every step I was either proved wrong or saw a brand new side to the thought. Also, the trip gave me a lot of my firsts (some of which are mentioned here). I did my first safari, first sky dive, first road trip, first accident in a foreign land (ha, but it wasn’t half as funny at the time), first lions walk, first stay in a beach villa and a farm land, first whale watching, first swim with the African penguins, first berry picking, almost the first bungee and so many more. So obviously this trip will forever be special to me. While all my previous trips have been to exotic locales in France, Europe, UK and Asia I can safely say that if you’ve not been to SA then you’re missing on a whole new world of experience.

My stay started in Johannesburg. I was there for two days and I must say I was in for a shock. While the place apparently is the 2^nd best in the world in terms of quality of drinking water, it is 3^rd highest in crime rate. That only got reinstated when I saw the city go shut at 6:00 in the evening. Coming from a metro in India that literally never ever sleeps, I was aghast. I was putting up in a beautiful airbnb but didn’t know where to look for food at 8:00 pm. Sad. Nonetheless the city is beautiful in the day light. Will have to ask the muggers about the night time delights.

I then went for a three day safari in Kruger and have the memories of my life from there. Right from the accommodation to the safari to the FOOD, I was the happiest puppy there could ever be. I highlight food, one because I didn’t remotely expect veg food and two coz that’s the first thing I was told by a co-safarer ( yeah I made that word up) a solo tripper from Italy, when I asked him how his safari experience was… at the time I simply smirked! Only to later be slammed by the chef with some of the best veg dishes that I’ll ever eat in my life. These dishes became all the more delicious as they were coming from a person who’s never been to India and has never tasted the cuisine. Kudos to her!!

I left with a heavy heart from Kruger only to be happy again in Cape Town… the buzziest city in SA (hahahahaha). It was indeed busy, for people who are accustomed to seeing all of two people on the street at any given time. Not to me who sits in a three hour traffic jam everyday with 2 lakh other agonised souls. Huh.. Cape Town was like my soul searching getaway. The city has the best beaches, landscapes, picture perfect student towns and wine lands. Not to mention some of most beautiful drives in the world. And while the sun shined bright all day, evenings were usually cold (again coming from someone who has winters at 25 degree Celsius, so pardon me if this hurts). I did the garden route and Chapman’s peak drive and couldn’t have asked for anything more. I will take a lecture on them maybe some other day….

The last leg of my trip were my stays along the garden route. Two of my most memorable stays ever:

George Town and Mossel bay showed me what I was missing out in the mind-numbing life-sucking life of the metro. People enjoyed their lives in a way that I can neither fathom nor fully appreciate. Both these places, while being poles apart, gave me the very African feel that I was looking for all along. If I ever manage to escape this mayhem called life, this is where you can find me…

1. Cuddled up, gazing at the night sky in between catching glimpses of the millions of fireflies and waking up to the mowing cows (which I think I befriended by the end of my stay).
2. Sleeping with the sound of the waves filling my heart and soul and waking up to the prettiest sunrise ever….

Johannesburg….

The safari…

Student town…Stellenbosch

Wine lands

Some more winelands

Chapman’s peak drive

Farmland view

Having written the longest post so far, I think I now adequately qualify to be the tourism ambassador of South Africa. Until then, hope you enjoy reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it…

Love!

Turning one….

Hola!!

I won’t blame you if you scroll past this feed or take a second (okay more than a second) to recall who wrote this post…my bad…!

So a few days ago my blog turned ONE and I turned twenty-eight….Whoaaaa (doing my happy dance)! The latter number feels uglier when accompanied by the former. So anyway, on the birthday of my blog and moi (not sure which one prompted me to write this post), I thought I should get out of my self-imposed sabbatical. I last wrote a few months ago when I wasn’t too happy with the way 2017 was turning out to be. Well, here we are 27 days into 2018 and what should I say…I ain’t that ecstatic altogether!! The only reason is that I thought if the calendar changes so should my life… but that isn’t how it’s meant to work, or is it?!

Looking back, 2017 was infact a decent year with a mix of events. To mention a few, I started this blog, made some awesome friends in this blogosphere, scarily stalked some amazing writers, changed jobs, worked out, travelled a lot more than I planned and had a lot of my firsts (more on that later).

On the other hand, I lost a dear one and yet again was face to face with the hovering reality,

“You don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore”

I also feel like I’ve been a bad mom to my blog and did not give it its due attention, while happily took in all that it had to give me. So about time we change that…

Now, since this is my first post of the year and my blog turned one, I will celebrate it by sharing photos of my firsts in 2017. I travelled to South Africa and experienced beauty on a very different tangent. While I will need an altogether separate post to cover the whole of that trip, here’s a glimpse of my firsts – wild-life safari, tete-a-tete with the big cats and some of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever stayed in…

Meet Simba!

My Favourite

She was a poser

Sleepy heads

Chapman’s Peak drive

Beach villa

Stairway to heaven

Could’nt have asked for more

Forest walks

Hope you all had a fantastic 2017 and wishing for an even better 2018!!!

Love!

 

 

 

Are we done yet??!

It’s still 3 months until the year 2017 ends and I am already EXHAUSTED! For starters, the year did not even remotely go the way I had it panned in my mind. The puppy is nowhere in sight, TRAVELLING?!! What’s that!…And ooohhh yeah those abs are still safely hidden beneath the fat layer called pizza, the 60 books challenge is long forgotten and the list goes on. In fact, I think God chose this particular year to slam all of those things on my face which I dreaded the most and I’m still red from the sting. Sitting in a rollercoaster, I have simply tumbled from one month to the other, only wishing for the ride to either stop or get better!

I had some very important decisions to be taken…Okay let’s not kid…some decisions were taken for me and the rest…well yeah I can safely say I did. From the job I couldn’t stand to some major health setbacks, this year had it all. I realised my immunity is weaker than I thought and my will…stronger. The health issue is what gave me a new perspective or I’d say tweaked the old one a bit. It was not only my health that shook me up, but that of a relative whose life turned upside down in a matter of a few days. We say it all the time that life is too short, but I’m not sure we really understand it or even mean it. We don’t really know how short life really is until one morning you suddenly can’t do the things that were basic to you until the night before.

So while I’m still figuring out the next best thing for me, I’m not sure what the next 3 months will have in store before the year finally ends.

Whatever it may be, I’ve put on my stilettos, poured myself some nice cold sangria and I think I’m good to go! 🙂

Love!

How about some dinner??!

“Let’s please try it today”, said the seven year old, watching his brother hungrily nibble the last thread of the torn sack. “I don’t think they will let us enter… and where did you even hear about this”, asked the brother in all his disbelief.

“I heard those boys when they were getting out of their school. They said it was fun” coaxed the little boy.

“Okay then let’s go and ask the uncle in the restaurant if he will let us dine and dash”, decided the two homeless boys and walked over to the restaurant.

Let us all pledge to have a world where no one has to die of hunger. This is in response to the daily prompt “Dash”..

Love

Papa…

Papa…

If only, 

I had a chance,

To go back in time & sneak a glance;

At that smile so bright,

And hold you tight…

If only,

You would tie my laces,

While I make giggly faces…

If only,

I could run to you for that one last time,

Hold your hand and chat awhile!

After losing my dad when I was all of six, I was brought up in a house of women. Not really used to having a father figure around, I would see my friends sit in their father’s lap and wonder how it would feel like.. after getting married when I was supposed to address this new person as ‘papa’…even that took a lot of effort and practicing in the mirror…

And while I know I would’ve traded anything in this world to know what it feels like to have my papa, I also know that he is somewhere around, looking out for me…and ofcourse, after these two wonderful ladies who taught me all that I needed to learn…

Here’s wishing the happiest Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out there and to my rocks of Gibraltar…

Love!

The lost promise!

They’d been happily married for close to a decade now. In a perfectly settled house, marriage and career, the only thing missing was a baby.. someone to care for, to call their own. It’s not that they hadn’t tried, but there was only so much medical science could do, to change their fate!

So after a lot of deliberation, they finally agreed to do something about it. Come weekend and they left home to visit the child adoption center for their scheduled appointment. They were on their way when they stopped at a signal and suddenly looked at each other with a rare telepathy of sorts!

“They can be really nasty at times! If they miss their meds”, said the nurse; escorting them to a room where an old man and his wife were sitting by the window, staring at the blank space..

Born as orphans, they returned home holding their lost childhood!

This Mother’s Day, celebrate the gift of parents that we have and take a moment to tell them u love them.. not everyone can do that!

This one’s for my mom, who is my rock…Being a single mother to two difficult baby girls was no mean feat but she made it all look easy… so if I ever get to be a mom, I know that I have really high standards to match!

For all the strong mothers out there!

Love!

Carpe Diem

I had my very first authentic burrito during my stay in Edinburgh.. and boy, was that the best burrito ever?! Hell yeah… I fell in love with the dish right away and couldn’t have enough of it…

A few days later, I was in Wimbledon, wandering around the streets and scouting for a good place to hog.. I stopped by at this really good looking Mexican joint and my mouth watered purely with the thought of relishing yet another awesome burrito. But guess what, when I had this one, I didn’t like it at all.. I left it after a few bites and almost got mad at the chef for not making it how I thought it would be… my benchmark was that one restaurant in Edinburgh! So I walked out of this cafe, sulking and hungry!

In retrospect, I think I didn’t give it a fair chance. I passed a verdict at the very first bite and never thought that it could taste better after a few more..

Such is life… very few people get second chances at things they truly want. There have been a few significant instances in my life where I missed the first chance..

I was a little girl when my dad suffered a heart attack and we lost him.. do I remember my last chat with him… maybe not… but I wish I had hugged him close, the night before that dreadful day..

15 years later, I started my career by moving out of my comfort zone, in a city where I barely knew anyone. I went there with the gusto of a freedom fighter and the thought of pursuing my dreams. Sadly half of my time in that city went in catching up with the new life and the other half, in sulking over things that I had no control over..

Today when I am in the busiest phase of my life so far, I often find myself missing the solitude and perks of that time when I lived alone… truly alone! Would I get those days back again? Probably not… Do I wish I would have lived them differently rather than the way I did.. probably yes!

While those days largely comprise of who I am today (and that isn’t remotely close to that girl who moved into that city with her big as hell suitcase and bigger dreams), I wish I could give them a second chance and not beat myself up so much..

So here’s to seizing the day and many more burritos!

Love!