There I was,
Ready to open my wings to the world,
To take on the golden sky and twirl;
Yet unborn were my dreams and desires,
But she was suppressing her silent fears,
Fears that I may lose my way,
Fears that her baby bird may not stay,
But I have just learnt to fly,
And I refused to be shy.
And one day,
I will return to my nest – bold and warm,
To rest a while in her heaving bosom!
Thanks Sue for the awe-inspiring photo prompt… I wanted to focus only on the golden sky, but could not somehow ignore the lone bird taking a glorious flight!
A lot has been going on lately… and I failed miserably at my “one post a day” target… I succumbed to monotony…! Got bogged down by health issues and despite they not being that grave, I overstated them in my head and found an excuse to not do anything but the bare essential!
But I am getting back on track with life… All this while, my happy hours were restricted to the time I exercised…beyond that there was pretty much nothing that excited me… In hindsight, I think a lot of that had got to do with the fact that I barely had a break in about 8 months… Imagine, having to behave like an adult for 8 months without a break!!!
The last time I had a proper holiday was when I traveled to UK last year September with hubby dearest.. Post which I am only pretending that I am unable to find anything that excites me as much as the peaks of Scotland or the lanes of London… That said, I am feeling better now, also because I finally managed to plan a teeny weeny break…Yay for that! I call it a break since I’ll be off the hook only for a couple of days (and that does NOT qualify as a holiday) (Details on that one later.. :))
So while I am happy anticipating the time off, I bumped into these few old pics of my last holiday!
Now that I plan to stop being a vegetable, I hope I can catch up with my writing and all the wonderful pending posts that I may have missed out on reading!
Okay so this is going to be a bit of a narcissistic and longer than usual post… I just crossed my first 300 followers mark… *doing my little happy dance*…
I’m super ecstatic about it… reasons being:
1. I didn’t think I could write shit… leave aside have someone read it and like it…
2. This blog is less than two months old and it seems to have become a living, breathing separate entity with a mind of its own…
3. With the attention span of a goldfish I didn’t think I would be able to keep up with the blog.. which in a way did happen when I first created an account on WordPress a year back and then just forgot about it.. Until less than two months ago when I was having one of those epiphanies that I am going to lead a pretty meaningless life…not to forget that hubby dearest threatened to lock me up in a room with a bottle of wine and my laptop until I jibber jabber something on the keyboard… so yeah all that worked!
4. I forgot why I was writing a numbered list…anyways
So yes… I’m happy that I managed to partly live up to the “pseudo-writer” label that I bestowed upon myself and in the process hopefully made for some decent writing! Having said that, in this quest for myself… I realized one very important thing.. I absolutely and truly enjoy writing…it is the feeling of liberation that’s captivating… I’m a lot of things throughout the day, but here it’s just “ME”!
And I will be cursed with a writers’ block for the rest of my life if I end this post without the mention of the ones that truly deserve it… so here’s a biggggg thank you and a bigger hug to all of you awesome people who inspire me and encourage me day in and day out with such brilliant writing and a generous feedback on my work. Your warmth and love is what makes this ride worthwhile..
It was a scary feeling…she didn’t want to get out of bed… she didn’t want the day to start…or rather she couldn’t, AGAIN… This feeling was not new to her…
Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling..it was like she was having a free fall. She could not help but think of the time when this sorrow had become her only friend… when it took her years to accept it and more importantly publicly acknowledge her “condition”… Yeah, that’s what they called it.. How she spent days, nights and years grappling with her own demons… the ones that would hide at the faintest sound of another person.. they made it all the more difficult for people to see her pain… “But you look just fine!”, “What’s there for you to worry about?! you have a job, friends and good life!”, they would remark… She was truly alone in this battle..against herself..
When she finally thought that she had won or at least heard the forces retreat, here it was…back again…to immerse her in their dark world, where her voices couldn’t be heard…where once again she would be trapped…But this time, she was better prepared.. she would not let them have her..after all what anti-depressants couldn’t do, her razor blade could!
This is in response to the daily post “Immerse”
“Hey there….how have you been? It’s been a long time since we last met… hope you remember me!” said a voice from somewhere… she somehow couldn’t locate it…wherever she went, she could hear that voice… it was almost as if she was being driven around imperceptibly by it.. “do you remember this ice-cream stall?”, the voice whispered in her ears as she crossed the lane she once visited almost everyday… “hey look there”, she involuntarily turned around while waiting in traffic for the light to turn green.. and saw a girl running in the rain, barefoot… While entering the gate, she saw her yet again, standing in the balcony, staring at the moon! She finally recognized her…
“Wow…that was slow” mocked the voice…”How could you forget me?!…I am you…just few years younger though and a little more carefree, a little more reckless…I smiled easily, forgave quickly… I remember all your dreams and desires…so good to see you live them now..but how come you left me behind… I paved the way for where you are now… I wish you carried me along a few more miles with you…” the voice murmured…
She smiled and looked away… She always met her when she visited this place… her hometown…!
“Where I was born,
Where I was raised,
Where I keep all my yesterdays!”
I think we all have this one place in this world, which takes us back in time and reconnects us with our older (read younger) selves… It’s such a happy encounter…
This is in response to the daily post “Desire“…
It was like any other normal day… she woke up, made breakfast, packed their tiffin boxes, piled up clothes for laundry and got dressed to leave… but something was off… the baby was restless and so was she… she hesitated before leaving the house and looked at her husband cradling the baby.. “it’ll be okay honey, one day at a time”, he said…she smiled and left with a heavy heart..
Walking into the same building that had become her second home for so many years felt surreal that day… brisking through the elevator, she dashed towards her desk and stopped at the missing name plate..”You’re at the wrong desk Ma’am, your cabin is towards the left” said the voice from behind… with a flushed face and eyes to the ground, she walked away…
“It was amazing how breaking the glass ceiling didn’t seem as tough as walking into a glass cabin”, thought the new CEO!
This is response to the daily post “Hesitate”
So lately a lot has been going on… seems like I’ve been running a race and have lost my way… I bit more than I could chew and ended up gulping it all down my throat without having relished any flavor…
Weekdays were insane and weekends… wait…what’s that again?! So yeah basically days have been a blur… I was either trying to please everyone around me or fighting with them while trying to please myself.. neither of it helped… I know that a lot of people have the exact same problem… I mean my six year old niece complained that her life is too hectic.. This just shows that we are all running…
So I finally decided to do something drastic… I decided to STOP.. yes…I stopped in the middle of a race that does not allow its participants to stop…I stopped just for a while…to do nothing…to just breathe… to just look around and actually enjoy whatever it is that I am working so hard for.. disconnected myself for a while and got away from the mayhem called life.. sat back with a mug of coffee and relished that… I never knew that getting away and just having coffee could be such a task. And while my tiny break did not bring anything crashing down, it surely energized me to kick start the race again..I might have lost my spot, but I regained my momentum..
So for all you out there, running into a meeting or rushing to pick up the baby from her art class, PAUSE.. look outside the window and watch that sunset in the crimson sky, and just Breathe…
This is in response to the daily prompt “Blur”